How To Get A Sugar Daddy 101

While I’m no expert, I’ve been a sugar baby for a couple of years. I’ve my first one since day one, and I have two other ones. I’ve raised by allowance by $6,000 plus getting a larger apartment (with Objection) and I’ve made mistakes with other ex sugar daddies. I know what to look out for, and jump in to.  So here is a short guide to sugar daddies.

First of all… What IS a Sugar Daddy?

A sugar daddy is an older man who gives you allowances and/or gifts in exchange for your companionship.

Where Can I Find a Sugar Daddy?
That depends. Some women have found Sugar Daddies by accident. (That was my first experience)… Others join Sugar Daddy dating sites. Some are better than others, so I’d definitely recommend looking and shopping around. Simple google searches can yield specific criteria you’re needing!

How Should I Act?

Always be polite and always be classy. No Sugar Daddy I have met wants a woman who acts like she’s too good for anybody but herself.  If you’re working minimum wage, be grateful these men are giving you their time. I always treat my Sugar Daddies like they’re one in a million. I don’t act crude around them, but rather respectful and educated. When a  sugar daddy messages me “Hi, how are you?” my response is usually “Hey! Having a great day so far.” verse “Heyyy, havin a gr8 daiiii.”

What If My Potential SD Wants To Meet?

Do you feel comfortable speaking with your sugar daddy? Google him, google his business, dig a little deeper. Ask questions. If he says he’s the CEO of X company, you should be able to find him. If you can’t, look some more. Call where he works (debatable). Find out what you can. The last thing you want to do is go on a date with a fake.  Talk with him on the phone, skype him; make sure you above all else feel safe with this.

Where Should We Meet?

Common sense should be used here. In a public place. Not in a hotel. Not in secluded area.  In a public spot. Preferably during the day. I’m not trying to scare anyone else, but you can never be too safe. I used to live in NYC, so guess where I meet my potentials? Central Park and Coffee shops

What If He Wants To Fly Me To Him?

Again, be careful. I’ve flown to Korea to meet my ex sugar daddy, but I wasn’t as careful as I should have been. Always make sure you know the person. Try and get a hotel by yourself to stay in. Don’t stay in their homes. Make sure you know some of the language.

I’m Not Sexually Attracted To My Sugar Daddy, But He Wants Sex?

Make your intentions clear. You don’t want to waste either of your time, do you? If he wants sex and you’re not willing to do that, then let him know you value him as a person, but you’re not ready to make that step with him. Truth be told, a lot of Sugar Daddies wont be happy with that answer.  Sometimes, we stay with unattractive sugar babies because the relationship is more beneficial than other offers. 

My Sugar Daddy Is Married?

Most sugar daddies are married. Whether you want to be with a married man is up to you. Some have problems with it, some don’t.  Some men aren’t in a happy relationship, some men just want to spoil other women. The fact is, you’ll be a lot of it. A lot of these men just need something else they’re missing at home. 

My Sugar Daddy Wants To Know How Much I Want As An Allowance?

You need to make your price very clear and work from there. The trouble is, a lot of Sugar Babies are scared to speak out… If you have a price you will only accept, then let him know how much you want. However, I usually like to ask how much they expect to give. For example:

SD:  “How much were you thinking for an allowance?”

Me: “Well, how much would you like to help?”

SD: “I can do $3,000”

Me: (If I’m OK With This) “That’s very generous of you, SD.”

Me: (If I’m NOT OK With This) “Hmmm, that would help me out an awful lot. I just hope it’s enough to cover X (phone,car,rent)”

SD: “How much extra will you need to cover X”

Me: “I think 1000 would be perfect”


I Want More Money Than My Allowance, How Can I Raise it?

First of all, are you just being greedy, or has something in your life changed where you need the money? Asking for $5,000 extra because you just want more is greedy. Remember that most of these men work(ed) hard for their money and have their own lives to support. At the end of the day, if you get too greedy, they can easily drop you and find a new sugar baby to spoil. You’re not be all and end all.

However, sometimes circumstances do change. My allowance was raised significantly when I told my SD that I was enrolling in school. I was very honest with him and let him know how much I was struggling. I told him about all the costs, and what his allowance was covering, and what I needed.  I let him know it didn’t even have to be long term.

If you really want more money and your SD doesn’t want to give you more, then don’t be angry. If you need it, then find another SD. Or get a job.

How Much Should I Expect?

For each person it’s a different answer. Where do you live? What do you expect? Is he paying your rent? Is he buying you presents? Are you being paid monthly or per visit? In the past, my sugar daddies were paying upwards of 8000 because I was living in the heart of NYC and the cost of living was so high. That didn’t include extras like gifts.

What Should I NOT Do With My Sugar Daddy?

Expect too much for too little. Don’t act like a complete diva and then ask for the world. Don’t make time but once a month for your SD and then expect him to pay rent, gifts and your allowances and bills. I made this mistake myself when with one of my ex SD’s. At that time it was getting into my head that these men wanted to pay me to be with me because I was interesting, smart, and beautiful. I thought that I could do what I wanted and when I pleased. I had a very nice SD who was willing to pay a large allowance and take me nice places, but I was too stuck up (at that time) and he ended up walking off. I’m back to reality now. But don’t lose yourself. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the money.

Is Being A SB Like Prostitution?

Do you think it is?  A lot of people get wrapped up in the fact that Sugar Babies have sex. However, there is nothing wrong with having sex. We don’t have sex and then get paid. It’s a lot more complicated than that.  Have a gander over here for more information.

I’m Now Financially Dependent On My Sugar Daddy & I’m Stuck/Lost/Trapped. Help!

I’ve had friends in situations where her SD had control over her life. If you feel this is true for you, or it is getting to that stage, start saving now. Put the money he gives you into a savings account and stop living so lavishly. Find a new, cheaper apartment. Don’t buy new clothes for that month. Switch to basic cable. Don’t take taxi’s and walk/ride a bike. These are difficult changes to make, but if you want to be independent again, you need to make these changes today.A lot of girls end up piss poor and stomped on when their sugar daddies get bored.  Save now, even if you don’t see this coming anytime soon. I already have a shit ton of money saved up just in case. You should too! I cover this extensively here! 

Will My Jealousy is natural in these type of situations. Just remember that these men are not committed to you, and neither are you to them.

Will I Fall In Love With My Sugar Daddy?

Do you want a commitment and does he? Is this mutual? If so, then go for it if it’s right for you. If not, then reevaluate the relationship between you. Maybe it’s time to find a new sugar daddy if you can’t bare the thought of him being with his wife and not you. Emotionally distance yourself, even. Set emotional boundaries with sugar daddies.



43 thoughts on “How To Get A Sugar Daddy 101

  1. I like your perspectives, especially when it comes to acting classy and treating others with respect. The only part I didnt like is the ‘call him at work’ part. We dont think that’s cool. Those who do are playing with fire in more ways than one.

    • I think when a man claims he is X person, a woman should be able to check up to see if he really is who he says he is. :p I’d choose googling and being upfront over calling, however. I see where you’re coming from though! Thanks for your input!

      • I agree, Elsy. I do not see anyone without completely checking them out. Verifying someone through their work can be done very easily and discreetly. And if done correctly, he will never even know that you did it. 😉

  2. I like that your Sugar Daddies are helping you so much financially. At first when I was reading the “How much should I expect” area I was thinking where you lived the cost of living was low. But New York?! I’m in California and my rent is half of yours. All of the men I’m meeting off you’re favorite website (one of mine too) is willing to pay $1,000 a month. Therefore, I need many SD’s to help me get ahead. Good job girl!

    • Lol thanks. I actually have you bookmarked and forgot to add you to my blogroll. Thanks for mentioning about the analytics too 😐
      ❤ Thanks for the support

  3. I like your post. A lot of it is common sense. For some reason, I’m not attracting the SD’s that I want. I get the “I want to get married” types. Any tips on slowing them down and easing into a REAL sd/sb relationship first?

    • I’d suggest putting something in “arrangement I want” section of your profile to be something along the lines of “I’m not looking for marriage right now, I’m looking for a sugar daddy, a friend…” etc. Be upfront about what you’re looking for, and if you both can’t come to some kind of middle ground, it’s probably not worth it on either end.

    • Honestly, a lot of Sugar Daddies are NOT looking for marriage. Perhaps you could state in your profile that you’re looking for a long term commitment, but the likelihood of finding a SD looking for anything long term will be a slow and difficult process.

      • I would suggest putting in her profile that she is not seeking marriage at this time but a mutually beneficial relationship only at this time. Often times men try to get a younger sb without the financial commitment by claiming to be looking for someone to marry. I agree most are not looking for marriage and I would be a little wary of one who claims he is. After all there are far more traditional dating sites he could be on, where the woman are looking for a husband.

  4. well said cara monroe, never believe in a sugardaddy that says he looking to marry you,its just a sweet way to avoid paying you and stringing you along,well tell him,for now until you actually marry me,lets keep up on an arrangement!!

  5. Im looking into getting me a sugar daddy/ mommy or two a little nervous! I’m far from stuck up or hoochiefied! I have respect and like respect in return! I just would like a few pointers for newbies! Thanks 🙂

  6. i think something is wrong with me because i been on SA for 2 months and no SD tryed to talk to me am i doing something wrong am i ugly or somthing ughh can someone help me please i would love to get allowance & gifts

    • I’m having the same problem. A couple sent me a message but one just wanted to dirty talk the whole time, and this was before we even met so i was uncomfortable. one asked me to meet up this weekend but never heard from him as to when or where. i’m lost ;(

  7. Hi ladies, I have been considering getting a SD, but I am still unclear about the intimate expectations. I understand you can state in your profile you are not willing to have sex, but do the SD take that seriously and respect that boundary? I have only been with one man whim is my ex husband and for me sex is completely out of the question. I do feel I have a lot to offer as a companion and a friend, and I know men find me very attractive. Is this a realistic option for me? Thanks

  8. I am in the same boat as Meda! I am very confiedent in the way I look though. I have been a SB for a month, yet I have not recieved any emails! Is it my location, my profile, my race…..running out of ideas! HELP!

  9. I’m really having a problem with how much communication I should have with my sugar daddy. Esp. at the begining. I’m used to the men calling and txting me but I’m finding myself txting them more….What is a good amount of txts? Should this be like traditional dating where the men like a challenge (not too much of 1) or bc this is a different kind of relationship that I should call or txt also. More as in starting conversations. I want to keep my SD wanting more.

  10. Whats the rule with sleeping with your SD? I really enjoy sex but I’m not about to have sex with many different men and abs. no 1 night stands. Do you keep him waiting? Do you sleep with him when you think you both are comfortable? Do you not sleep with them at all?

  11. I want a sugar daddy that I wont have to have sex with because I most likely wont be attracted to him and if I happen to be attracted to him I don’t want it to be about strictly sex.. Have any of your sugardaddies been cool about not having sex with you?

  12. Hey i have a question my sd doesnt have a limit on money? So itold him this is my first time being a sugar baby. So how much shld i ask for. Ps. He respect on what i dnt want to do. He also wants to meet up and he said a hotel for privacy im nervious.

    • Your SD doesn’t have a limit? Ask him what he thinks sounds acceptable. It sounds a bit fishy to me, though!

      Also, meet at a restaurant. NOT a hotel. You could easily get raped at a hotel.

  13. I found your tips very helpful. I decided to become a SB just recently and I’m new to this type of lifestyle. Unfortunately, I haven’t had any bites. How do I initiate conversation with a SD?

  14. I have been having a problem picking the right sugar daddies. I hadn’t want to date anyone married. I’m moving past that point now if it gets me the right SD. It seems that every sugar daddy I meet thinks we are going to have sex and thats part of the deal. I don’t want to give up but I’m getting so tired of men thinking I’m just like a prostitute or something. I have very classy, cute pictures, cute profile. I always have nice classy conversations and I’m cute and flirty but not sensual with anyone. What signs am I giving that this keeps happening? Also how do you talk about money on a first date? I usually don’t talk to much about money until we actually meet for our first date. Then at the end they usually give me a few hundred for gas and time. Recently I had a great date we had alot of fun. He was so impressed and I was everything he was looking for. Then at the end of the date he walked me to my car. Gave me a hug and kissed me goodbye. I know some SD don’t think they should pay for a first date so I let it go. Disappointed because I have bills that need to be paid but I liked him and it seemed we got along great. The next morning I got a text because we were going to go out once a week that he would get a hotel room near me next week.”what?” There was no talk at dinner about anything sexual. So when I asked him. He said he thought that it was a given. That that was a mutual beneficial relationship was. HELP!

    • Hi Ally,
      It is nothing you are doing! You can do everything right and you are still going to encounter unsavory types that expect sex on the first or even the second date. While most SD will want sex at some point in the relationship, a true sugar daddy will never pressure you, nor should it be at the forefront of what he is seeking.
      Stay in control of two things in the relationship–your allowance and intimacy.
      Don’t feel obligated because he gives you an allowance. Communicate. Let him know how long you would like to wait or that you are not comfortable with being intimate at all. If he is unwilling to go on a date with you without getting laid, he is NOT a sugar daddy. He is a john. Direct him to Craigslist. Best of luck to you! 🙂

  15. Ally: my first thought was “Duh!”.

    You (half) expected your SD date would give you money on the first outing. You didn’t get it, and were disappointed. He expected sex on the second outing, you weren’t willing, and he was disappointed.

    We all know in 99.99% of cases, the end result is SB gets money. SD gets sex. You need to be clear about how slow you want to be getting there. Some SBs are very business like about it, almost close to being a pro. Some are not, barely distinguishable from any old date. You need to be upfront where you want to be, because there are no society norms about this kind of thing.

  16. As an 18 yr old who’s new to the SB/SD world, I am searching for the best advise possible. Thank you! I met with a potential SD who has no interest in incorporating sex into the relationship, he’s successful and would help me with my college tuition and a couple bills- seems perfect right? The only thing troubling me is that he’s almost 30 yrs older than me, and I have zero attraction towards him. I am not expecting much in the looks department, but I am going to have to give him a level of affection that I am not comfortable with. It just wouldn’t feel right kissing or sharing any other forms of affections (besides sex) with him. I am not sure what to do. I appreciate the help that he’s willing to give me, but he’s out of my comfort zone. What do I do????

    • I feel the same way when it comes to starting to become a sb. Most of the men obviously aren’t great looking and they are older and heavier. It makes it hard to be comfortable with them under those circumstances. How do other sb overcome these types of issues with becoming comfortable with men you aren’t even remotely attracted to.
      Prosperity of Beck let me know if you get any replies on your comment:) I would love to know as well

    • ^^^ this isn’t love. It’s not the guy your going to marry, be your boyfriend or be anything other than what it is. This is business, it’s a job in a sense do you have to “love” your job in order to do it and do it well. NO! It’s the same thing. He’s giving you cash, paying for your future to ensure you have a brighter future. What more do you want? Look at it this way that every time you look at him you see yourself and your own self empowerment through him. Make sure you differentiate between business and pleasure otherwise your going to get crushed. That’s why I hate seeing young girls become SB’s because they normally can’t handle it. Take what you can get now while it’s good. Daddy relationships rarely survive passed 6 months, even a year is stretching it. Can you fake it for a couple of months in order to ensure your education is paid for which will give you a brighter future and more happiness when you finally meet a man you ARE attracted to and can have a real relationship with? Feel lucky that he doesn’t want to have sex. THat would be a god send to most of us!

      I’ve had many many Daddy’s many of which I wasn’t attracted to but I faked it. I gotten vacations, cars, shoes, clothes, cash and even the house I currently live in I picked out and was bought by one of my daddies. Good things in life don’t come easy nor without sacrifices. So ask yourself if your willing to buck up and deal with it in order to make your life easier. If not you can always go back to having sex with men your attracted to but buy you nothing but Burger King.

  17. These are great tips to follow. Everyone should be sure to stay safe no matter whether you’re seeing a regular guy or a sugar daddy. For those that are new to the sugarbowl, these are great comprehensive Q&A for how to find a sugar daddy.

    Thank you for posting.

  18. Great article, I’m very interested in the subject as well .. just started my own blog here, feel free to check it out .. only one article so far, “Can Sugar Dating Turn into Long Term”

  19. Hello, I have been recently introduced into this wonderful way of life it is very fun and exciting to me yet I am struggling with something issues it is all very new .please give me any advice you can thank you

  20. Can a 47 year old woman get a sugar daddy? I live common law and have two young children. Don’t want them to find out. Is this possible?

    • Can a 47 year old woman get a sugar daddy? I live common law and have two young children. Don’t want them to find out. Is this possible?

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