I recently received a message from a sugar baby asking for help. She’d fallen in love with her sugar daddy and confided that she knew it couldn’t work out. That her sugar daddy had dropped women before because feeling got in the way. I told her I would help her as much as possible.
Falling in love with your Sugar Daddy is an issue a lot of Sugar Babies face. Lets face it, this man is wining and dining you, but they’re usually unobtainable for anything more. Some of these men have such hectic schedules and lives that they’re unable to commit, or they have a wife at home that they’re not willing to let go of, and you want more. You start craving them, thinking of them constantly, dreaming of them, checking your phone all the time to see if they’ve replied to your text and hanging onto their every word when they’re talking.
Again, you’re not alone.
When you start developing feelings for a sugar daddy, you need to ask yourself if they’re actually feelings of love or infatuation (Intense but short term feelings of love). If you’ve only been with your Sugar Daddy for a short time, the feeling is more than likely infatuation, if you’ve been together for a much longer period of time, it’s more than likely love.
This is difficult to post about, because there are so many possibilities and scenarios that need to considered. In the Sugar bowl, things are a lot more complicated than that of a traditional dating-relationship. With a sugar relationship, flirting is part of the arrangement, but the love doesn’t come at all most of the time. Turning off the sex, dating, and kissing is usually out of the question unless you want out of the relationship all together.
There are three ways you can go about this. But before anything, give it a month or two to see if you’re actually in love and not infatuated. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell the difference. Also make sure that there is no way your SD feels the same way, but don’t over analyze things either…
1. You can end the arrangement right now.
2. You can tell him, but make sure you do it appropriately. It’s hard when revealing your true feelings to get overexcited.
3. You can try and suppress these feelings.
But Elsy, how am I supposed to make these feelings go away? It’s not like a light switch you know!
I’m not going to lie. It’s not easy at all, and these are just personal ways that I was able to sweep my feelings under the rug and not them them get in the way. If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile you know that I’m now lucky enough to be in a relationship with my sugar daddy, however, the road to get here was a long one, definitely not an easy one, but I was able to do it. These may not work for you, but I hope you will find what does work for you.
- Is it the money you love, or his company? Are you enjoying all these beautiful things you have and are receiving, or do you actually love him? If the money wasn’t a factor in any of this, would you still want to be spending time with him?
- Is he married or unobtainable? Is he adamant about not wanting a relationship, is he married? If so, then you need to remember that. Would you be OK with your husband spending time and having sex with other women? Would you be OK with them being the sugar daddy of one of these women?
- Focus on things you hate about him. I know it’s very basic, but it helped me. Is there something you don’t like about him? Does he tell bad jokes? Have bad breath? Have bad fashion taste? Need a haircut? Focus on all the things you dislike about one another. Even the small things count.
- Stop Stalking! Stop texting him 5 times a day, stop checking his facebook or your email. Don’t log onto Sugar Daddy dating sites every five minutes expecting a message from him. When you obsess over him, you’re doing nothing for yourself.
- Remember, it’s all about you! Focus on what is best for yourself. When I avoiding my feelings for Objection I would think to myself “What is best for me right now?” At that moment, did I really want to give up flirting and dating for one man? Nope.
- Get more than one Sugar Daddy / Date. Greedy? Quite possibly! But getting more than one sugar daddy or dating other men will focus your attention on other people, and other things. When my feelings began to grow for Obj. I began seeking other people, fooling around with my girl friends, and meeting new men. Soon, I was more focused on them than him!
- Focus on your friendships. If you don’t want more than one sugar daddy, this is a great alternative. Do things with friends, make new friends, branch yourself out and get social. Again, your want to refocus your time and energy!
- Don’t glorify them. During the time I had my feelings towards Obj. I put Obj.’s actual name instead of “Objection <3”. I deleted pictures of him from my phone, didn’t over wear things he bought me. If your apartment is overcrowded with things he bought you, then put them away.
- Distance Yourself. Don’t reply to all his messages straight away, don’t read all of the texts he sends you straight away either. Make it a game. How many hours can you go? Start off short, (think minutes) then try and make it longer. “How many hours can you go?” Keep in mind, this is also a way your SD can want you more (Obj. told me he wanted me more once I started distancing myself.) So who knows, it could work for you too!
- Don’t try forgetting all your feelings at once. Doing this all at once will completely mess with your head and confuse you. It’s too much to take on. Do it slowly, take on a few at a time, not all. Keep in mind that these things take time, but hopefully, slowly but surely, you’ll learn to block off these feelings of love.