SB world is disappointing sometimes.

This post may offend people. Sorry if so. It’s not intention. I just need a place to vent.

My separation from Obj has been difficult, which is really due to my scattered posts and MIA status for the past few months. After posting about my separation I was barely able to get back on here to post again. Emotionally, it’s a hard time for me.  The SB world, although with it’s great moments, can arguably be judgmental at times.

Today I decided to meander through my comments though and read some inspirational and uplifting things:

“Coucou Elsy,

Heureuse d’avoir de tes nouvelles, parce que oui je lis ton blog ! Effectivement, j’étais très heureuse pour toi. Malheureusement, on ne peut pas tout prévoir dans la vie. Et si tu n’étais pas sûre, tu es encore jeune (et j’imagine belle) donc si vous êtes faits pour être ensemble, le temps vous réunira, n’est-ce pas ?
Le mariage n’est pas à prendre à la légère. Avant de se présenter sous l’aspect d’une grosse bague, d’une magnifique robe et de 500 invités, je pense encore que c’est un acte d’engagement et d’amour pour lequel il faut se battre tous les jours. Ce que beaucoup de gens oublient. Malheureusement, certaines femmes de télé-réalités telles que Kardashian et cie n’aident pas à le rendre crédible et je trouve cela navrant. Donc prends ton temps et sois sûre. Même si dans notre communauté de SB, nous essayons de nous en sortir par un moyen ou par un autre, le rêve de chacune de nous toutes est quand même de pouvoir trouver au final un amour partagé (et un bon soutien financier accessoirement lol). Que la 1ère qui pense le contraire me jette la pierre.
Quand tu dis: “I know a lot of you ladies may not agree with my decision.”
J’ai bien envie de te dire, qui sommes-nous pour te juger Elsy ??? Tu fais ce qui est bien pour toi et… c’est tout !

Voilà j’ai fini mon speech ;-) portes-toi bien ! Bisous Lara”


“There’s nothing wrong with breaking off an engagement if you truly feel that you’re not ready for it… It’s definitely better to break it off now than to go through a divorce years down the road, especially when that could have been avoided. It sounds as though you definitely love the man. If you didn’t love him then you wouldn’t have broken off the engagement, right? It’s a selfless thing to do when you feel it’s just not right for the either of you. I hope you both work through things and find yourself and discover what you truly want out of life, and if that’s each other. It’s a tough thing to go through, but you sound like a strong woman. Good luck!”


Thank you ladies, (and gentlemen) I’ve received so many lovely messages. I’m able to weed through the negative and focus on the lovely things people have said, thankfully. 🙂 Thank you thank you thank you!

It’s really uplifted me after I’ve been so frustrated with the Sugar Bowl of late.  The dates I have been on lately all seem to be with sleeze balls. It seems a lot of men are used to getting eighteen year old uneducated (of the sb world) and dumb. Maybe it’s just the economy? I don’t know. But I’ve been on ONE good date this month, and I’m still questioning if I should go ahead with this.

The SB facebook world has turned into a popularity contest with some people. Fake SB’s are cropping up (which why you’d PRETEND to be a SB is beyond me?) and people are now consrtantly suspicious of one another. It’s sad. It upsets me.  Some people ruin everything for everybody else.

Maybe this is just depression talking. I do, in fact, miss Objection. I’m trying hard not to. But I do.



3 thoughts on “SB world is disappointing sometimes.

  1. Hi Elsy,

    Just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your blog and it’s really heartbreaking to read about what you’re going though. I can actually see how sad you are through reading your last entries. Just know that you made the right decision for you and for Obj. Yes it hurts like hell but sugar you can’t force yourself to be somewhere/someone you are not. Right now in life you are not ready for the kind of commitment that a big move, marriage and starting a family would require- you are not there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting this to yourself and to the man that you love. You love him and you understand that he needs to make decisions that will make him happy and he understands the same thing about you. Stop being so hard on yourself.

    Also don’t try to ignore your feelings about missing Obj. Allow yourself to feel how you feel fully and honestly or you will never heal. Maybe you should take some time away from the sugar bowl to spend time on you…write, reflect, maybe make a vision board or a list of goals. These things are positive and will put you in a different mindset. If you come out of this with some awesome goals that you can then accomplish, it makes it so that your separation wasn’t all for naught. In a few months you will look back and say “Yea I know my decision was for the best because look at the things I’ve accomplished FOR MYSELF that I wouldn’t have if I had gone the other way. I know so much more about myself than I would have if I had followed Obj to Florida. Obj has set out to accomplish things for himself and so have I…”

    That way if it turns out that you realize that Obj is for you and you two reunite you will re-enter the relationship with a whole new sense of contentment, accomplishment and confidence 🙂

    I hope you feel better soon sugar!

    P.S. I know exactly what you mean about SBFB. I just joined and I can already sense that there is a lot of negativity, cattiness and jealousy. I’m thinking of deleting. I suggest you stay away from it. Right now you should be all about positivity and you– not SB drama lol

  2. Love your honesty and willingness to share! It is frustrating for REAL SB/SD’s when time/trust is wasted! I was recently contacted from a member of SA who seemed like a good POT, handsome, well-educated and so on. After exchanging numerous emails/ pictures I recieved the following email from him:

    I just dont have the time or money to be a real SD.  I am looking for someone to see occassionally, not be on the payroll. 
    I am realistic and respectful and know there are some gals looking to be “taken care of’ and I cant do that.  So I am looking for someone to see on occassion. 

    *****My response….so why are you on a SD site?!?**** Being a SB is more than just an affair/sex!!!!

  3. Hello Elsy,

    Just a quick post – I hope all is good with you and getting better. I have only come across your website today and don’t know whether you have picked yourself up again and are going strong in your new “single” life, or if things are still difficult for you.

    I just wanted to let you know how impressed I have been by your wisdom and cheerfulness on this site as well as the generosity and time it has taken you to help out other ladies looking to follow in your footsteps. Whether that is the right choice only they can decide, regardless you are to be commended.

    I hope you are finding your strength again, but in the meantime please be good and kind to yourself as you are to others and realise that things happen for a reason. I saw the word “depression” crop up in a couple of posts and I really hope that clinical depression is not an issue for you. If it is, please seek professional advice and look after yourself first.

    With all best wishes,
    D x

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