Back to Square One

“Elsy, I miss you. Where have you been? It’s been since September that you posted, and it’s now February. That’s 5 months. Are you OK?” 

Time flies, doesn’t it? I think a lot of us take advantage of time and how fast it passes us by, but I’m so surprised to see it really has been 5 months since I last posted… I’ve been reluctant, as last time I posted about my personal problems after a short hiatus I was accused of just trying to gain more views on my blog in fear of losing a cult following. (Uhhh?)

But, you know, I missed you girls. And I shouldn’t fear what others say. When I set out writing this blog I did so for a place to help other sugar babies, but I think this blog became something more for me. It became a judge free, anonymous zone where I could vent with like minded women. You all have helped me, just as much as I’ve tried to help all of you. Really.

So, my drama will be public, because I frankly don’t care anymore. You girls have become a type of family to me. So, here is the drama….

As you girls may remember, earlier last year, Objection and I had some issues with our relationship which was later reconciled. I was depressed and it broke my heart, but at that time, that’s what I needed. A break. I joined him in Florida for awhile, and we had a new lease on our relationship.  We talked about marriage, about children, and how great our future was going to be.  We wanted three children. Two boys and one girl.  We were excited.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Obj. and I officially broke up by October after some bickering. I was recognized by the blog, which scared me, and scared Objection. I also found Objection on a Sugar Daddy dating site, which he previously hadn’t been on, and it really hit the nail on the head for me. Most sugar daddies have sugar babies while married, and I believed Obj. to be an exception. I don’t believe he was cheating on me. I do believe he was keeping his options open. That upset me a lot.  We stopped having sex, we stopped talking, we stopped wanting to spend time together. Nights we would spend watching movies or reading were now nights spent in different rooms doing different things. Me, usually writing. Him, usually watching television or doing something on his phone.  Mutually we decided something had left our relationship and we broke up.

The day we broke up was exhausting. The weather outside was dull, cold, and it was quiet outside.  Quiet for NYC.  Objection was making arrangements to fly back to Florida and he was talking about times that we could leave for the plane in the next week, which day, etc.

“So, what time do you want to leave for Florida?”

“Never.”

And with that, he looked up. Half hurt, half surprised.  Maybe even a little annoyed at my bluntness. I think he realized when I looked at him, I was serious.  I was aware that our relationship was having issues since he left for Florida the first time. Moving back and fourth to Florida and NYC wasn’t what I wanted.

With breaking up, it also left me somewhat nervous. Objection has been my rock for years. We’ve been very much in love. We were going to marry each other. He also, obviously, financially supported me in ways I now realize I took for granted and helped me out in terms of “connections” in ways I cannot describe either. My boss now treats me differently, I feel awkward going into work, and I’m looking into finding another job. I’m also looking for another sugar daddy. Finding a sugar daddy in this economy is hard and exhausting. I really feel for the new SB’s.

Money-wise, it’s also meant I’ve had to cut back significantly. Living in my old apartment, that, thankfully, I’m able to maintain. Shopping sprees and eating out has definitely been limited though.  That being said, I’m cooking more, which is turning out to be so fun. My favorite recipe is currently Leek and Potato soup.  Yum.  No more shopping sprees, though.  It kills me.

This experience has humbled me, more than anything. Do I miss Objection? Of course I do.  Do we still talk or have the arrangement we had last time we broke up? No. Objection is not financially supporting me in any way, we don’t talk in any way, shape or form. Do I think we will reconcile? No.  I don’t think we will.

So, here I am, back on the Sugar Baby dating scene.

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5 thoughts on “Back to Square One

  1. Hey lil mama !! I’m in the exact same boat ! I’m back on the scene too ! But with a little one to support! My situation breakup wise was a little different. We made plans ‘that’ Saturday to go look at apartments for me FINALLY and I was living comfortably on 1000$ a week. An hour before he was supposed to pick me up, “I can’t afford to give you anymore money. I have 300 left in my account after this last 500$ I can give u. I don’t think its fair to you that I can’t give you the time and attention u deserve (wow cliche??) So I think it’s best if we atop seeing each other… we can still keep in touch…” And just like that , my entire lifestyle was ripper out from under me. I don’t know, and haven’t met , any other sugar babies. It feels so nice to be able to tell you, since you understand!!! If only it were possible to meet , have lunch, hug, and get our game faces back on, pump each other up, just ,idk you get what I mean lol you seem super intelligent and a lot like me 🙂 if you need someone to talk to, God knows its nice to have someone to talk to that doesn’t know every friend and family member so you can actually confide and vent, then I’m here 🙂 it’s nice to talk to another SB. here’s my email dopeglam1111@gmail.com. feel free to email me anytime if you need to ! Stay strong beautiful!! He obviously didnt appreciate you enough and there’s so many big fancy fish in the sea !! You will find someone better who can’t get enough of you ! ❤

  2. Hey Elsy,

    I’m very sorry to hear this. I’ve lurked for a while being a fan, but was always a bit nervous to write as I suspect I may be one of your few male readers.

    I’m going through a similar time myself and I share your pain. I’m an SD and I’m married, though I suspect by the fall that will change. Nothing at all to do with my SB, this was on the go before I met her even. Suffice to say my wife has done violent mental issues and its simply cone time to get out. It hurts. And I find it amazing that’s when I met my SB.

    She’s a single mom fighting to make ends meet. Her child’s father is not in the picture at all, she’s doing everything on her own. I have to admit I have a very soft spot for single mothers, and when we bet we hit it off right away. I also have to say she’s the most amazing person, and most beautiful woman I’ve met. We have some very strong chemistry and feelings that we’ve acknowledged. And we’re just waiting to see where things go. But she makes the home situation alot less painful. Being in a situation with a mentally ill spouse can be extremely isolating. And the connection I have with my lady was the breath of fresh air I needed. After one date I decided to do whatever I possibly can to make their lives easier. And I really think things can only be more incredible from here.

    I think you’ll find your SD. But give yourself time to heal too. If you need to hurt, hurt. But whatever you do, do what makes you happy girl! :). Whoever your SB will be should consider himself very lucky, I know I would.

    We’re all here for you, there’s no reason you have to do this emotional heavy lifting by yourself. Lots of hugs.

    This WILL pass :). Promise.

  3. Sad to hear this, but welcome back! You will find a better SD very soon, we all know you deserve better and more. I’ve been a fan of the blog before I become a sugarbaby and it’s not even that long ago. I do feel you will mentally and physically grow a lot once you get into this, all these experiences. And Thank You so much for providing these advice and guidance for us! You and your blog means a great deal to me!

  4. Welcome back Ladybug :-).

    I fully understand…

    I have been a SB for 4 years now. My SB paid my way through grad school, rent, shopping, and trips. However, he had become too relaxed and started to slip on doing what he used to do. I ended our relationship in December 1-week before Christmas ( didn’t get my annual Chanel bag and he wants the ring back, O.M.D.B). The only time we speak is when a random piece of mail still comes to his house in Virginia, and he calls to see if I want him to send it… (just mail it right).

    I still hold strong to my belief that we should never let these guys get too assured that we need them because they will (as sure as the sun will rise) STOP doing what they knew the whole arrangement was structured on. I took that last resort and WALKED away graciously (because it’s just not proper to run in Louboutin). I also miss the shopping sprees and fine dining. Hey bills will come but my sanity is far more important than a whiny sub-par SD with mommy issues lol 🙂 !

    Take care love and once again glad you’re BACKKKKK 🙂

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