I’m Not Attracted To My Sugar Daddy

One of the most frequent questions I get is along the lines of:

“My sugar daddy is not attractive, but he’s willing to give me a generous amount of money. What should I do?” It was also a common Q&A Wednesday question when I used to still do those for my blog.  Unfortunately, Q&A Wednesday posts weren’t very searchable and questions I’d answered were still asked.  I think this deserves a blog post anyway, as it’s such a strong question.

So what do you do if you potential sugar daddy looks like this?


First of all, you’re not alone.  A huge issue that Sugar Babies face is the fact that their Sugar Daddy isn’t always attractive.  The trade off doesn’t always seem fair at first glance. You’re gorgeous, young and free. You have your whole life ahead of you. Him? He’s gray and his children older than you, he’s overweight and has a handlebar mustache.  He’s not exactly George Clooney, however, the allowance he’s offering you is very, very generous.

Each one of you Cupcakes are different, some will take the route of a smaller allowance in return for a much more attractive Sugar Daddy, others will just take what they can in the name of a huge allowance.  So, what do you do?  How do you make this decision?

Now that I’m raking in much less financially, personally, I’d be willing to date a not – so – attractive SD if the price was right, and maybe other SB’s do/are too.  Instead of focusing on their faces, I try to focus on other things I find attractive about them.  For example, do they donate to charity? I find that sexy.  Are they funny?  I love funny people, laughter is always so contagious.  Remember that while what’s on the outside is the main ingredient to a SB/SD arrangement, it’s who we are that makes up the filling and pours out to the surface sometimes, even for the most disciplined Sugar Babies.

So, now you and the guy who is old enough to be your grandfather are wining and dining at a beautiful restaurant on your first date. He’s funny, a true gentlemen, and is willing to spoil you senseless.  He made you laugh and called your beautiful, he kissed your hand and although his mustache hairs kind of hurt, you took it anyway. These dates continue throughout the next few months, you both have sex, and although he doesn’t look good naked, either, he’s giving you 10k monthly for your time. You take it.

Fortunately, I believe there is a glitch in our minds.  Or maybe at least mine.  When I’m unattracted to a SD, I find other things I find attractive about him… Eventually, with time, he becomes more and more attractive and I’m fine with the way he looks, because I’m used to it.

Though, what happens if you don’t really like his personality, and he’s ugly too? Focus on the money. This is a mutually beneficial relationship, not a beneficial for you relationship. This man is paying for you time, he knows how important it is to you. However, in the same regards, you should be giving quality time. Being barely there isn’t really fair.  If I was giving somebody an allowance monthly for them to barely act interested, I’d find someone else.

I feel like a lot of Sugar Babies blur lines sometime.  We’re supposed to be independent, classy ladies in the real world. However, sometimes in the real world we have to do something we don’t want to do or be around people we don’t want to be around. It’s part of life. I feel like most of the time, Sugar Babies go into these SB relationships expecting something long term. Most of the time, this just wont happen. So, what is a few months/years of being with a sugar daddy who is willing to spoil you, and give you a life you’ve only dreamed of?

Are you being shallow? Not always. Some SB’s just don’t/won’t be with someone they don’t find attractive, and there is nothing wrong with that either. Having sex with someone you can barely stand to look at is an art.  In order to find the answer to your own question, you must first list your priorities and what you truly want. That’s how you’ll find your answer.


24 thoughts on “I’m Not Attracted To My Sugar Daddy

  1. Thank you so much for this post! I’m in this exact situation right now and I was second guessing myself. He’s my first SD. I think I expected all these guys to be good looking (don’t know where I got that from) but his personality outshines his looks. Plus, he’s willing to spoil me.

    • I think it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that everything is glamorous in the SB lifestyle, but like I mentioned, not everyone is blessed with certain DNA. I’d rather have an unattractive SD who spoiled me and treated me well than a really sexy SD who treated me like dirt.

  2. Thank you for your post! I’m actually a gay sugar baby, and I’ve just met my first SD. He’s not at all attractive, he’s short, overweight, and nearly double my age. But I’m just going along with the flow for now, especially if he’s willing to spoil me. I’m just glad I’m not the only SB who’s not attracted to his SD 🙂

      • I don’t agree, being significantly hotter then the other always gives me great confidence ^^ But if he’s really that distasteful as you say then please let go of it before you start feeling extremely uncomfortable and can’t stop thinking about the situation all the time! You have to know that you are worth nothing less then the best. Besides, to have to “act” anything is a big no-go, it’s plain dishonest. Take care Xx

  3. Bookmarked your blog, there so much good advice on here for sugar babies starting out like myself. Keep the good work up doll 🙂

  4. This is such a true post! There are times when you are lucky enough to have a good-looking SD and other times where you have to allow his personality act as his ‘looks’ instead. Great insights here.

  5. Hey Elsy! It’s good to see you writing again. I followed you on your tumblr and now wordpress. Anywho, I just has to drop a pot cause I didn’t find him attractive at all. I think I made the best decision. Xoxo

  6. No one mentioned alcohol?! A few nips along with some spoiling usually get me in the mood enough to withstand the not-so-beautiful.

  7. Same with me! thought i was alone? i kinda new to sb/sd relationships and might need abit of help, someone help me! He indian, kind of fat.. quite young actually but hes so ugly lol but im hoping as i get to know him, his personality outshines his face lmao..can someone help me? i have so many questions..

  8. Hello! I’m a gay SB in search of a sugar daddy! I’m talking to the first guy after a bunch of deadbeats who is actually taking the time to get to know me. He’s really sweet, 43, into old fashioned cars and co-owns a law firm. We’re still corresponding through e-mail… I think I’m probably gonna end up flying to where he lives (in the states) however, this predicament make’s it a little hard to talk about an arrangement since I live half way across the country, and as far as being intimate, I’m confused now… I think he’s attractive, but will I marginalize my worth by sleeping with him when I fly down to see him? I know i’m supposed to go with the flow, but I still wish there was some solid template or plan to follow… I’m thankful he hasn’t pressured me or anything at all.


  9. First of all I love your blog and I am a new visitor. You were right about looks sometimes being counteracted by allowance. I have been with my current SD for about 5 months and he definitely gives the minimum to meet my needs. He occasionally becomes snapish, but we get along well. However he is gorge for his age. My new pot has an amazing personality, mind, heart, and gives with no worries. He is not as attractive as my current, but his overall being is more than enough. Im making the switch today. Being on the older scale when it comes to Sb’s I don’t have time to waste.

  10. Awesome post and spot-on advice! It does totally suck to be going through all the motions of dating someone you’re not attracted to, but it’s also totally true that you can always find other qualities in a person that draw you to them. That being said, I would honestly recommend against dating sugar daddies you actually find disgustingly repulsive (i.e. Quasimodo in that pic up there) just ’cause that’s not going to be a pleasurable experience for either of you.
    You’ll find a lot of sugar daddies who aren’t Brad Pitt, but who are plenty attractive in their own way. Every ‘POT’ has its lid, right? (pun intended)
    Oh, and a funny note on this topic: After finishing an arrangement with an SD who was cute, mature, and incredibly thoughtful but who I wasn’t very physically attracted to, I indulged and dated an adorable guy – younger than me, even 🙂 – purely out of lust…and what I found was that the physical attraction/lust died off fast and I actually found myself missing qualities that my SD had had. Ah, life…it can be so odd.

  11. I have been a sugar baby for about 4 years now. Can’t take it anymore I’m emotionally worn. I just want to finish college and move on with my life. I tried to leave he threatened to commit suicide. Any advice? Anyone? PLEASE HELP!:0( -NICKY

  12. What if daddy has a nice who ha, and does the right moves etc and is kind nice gentlemanly opening doors etc. Dominant and prefers a submissive young lady. Honestly I’ve been complimented on various things, I shoot a pic and I get a compliment and we are meeting, I’ve been given kudos in bed as well, Ive been told the best ever a couple of times. My desires are for woman that are not gold diggers, or an hourly girl, yes some of you are hourly girls don’t kid me. I look for normal woman that need help, she can be young or more experienced just not the gold digging tending to be an hourly girl type, Im looking for more of a connection than that. anyway back to the format here, are some woman seriously attracted to older men? Some of the young ladies I’ve met, there sexual prowess is unbelievable too. sorry I did it again, so yea, Im not a stud in my eyes anyway, experienced yea. I am baffled at the compliments and how Im loved. It leads me to believe that there is desire both ways, as in we are hardwired like that, me seeking out young princesses and vice versa.

    • Of course some women be more attracted to older men! I am a 32 year old SB and I have to say, in all honesty, the only man who’s ever made me orgasm was twice my age! His life experience and perspective were very attractive. Sometimes the convo would become repetitive (i.e. political venting…dare I say RANTING) but, hell, every relationship has that type of situation. Also, there are the inevitable “daddy issues” SBs. Sometimes younger men really just haven’t developed the polish that older gentleman have no matter how attractive the young gun is. Knowing how to treat a woman like a lady comes with experience, for the most part, and older gentlemen have that in spades.

  13. I’m a POT SD and trying to get into shape before my first date with an SB. I think it’s unreasonable to expect affection and interest from a 20-something hottie if you don’t make at least some attempt to be HWP, practice good hygiene and dress well. It’s not just the SB’s obligation to look her best, just as it’s not only the SD’s obligation to project confidence.

  14. I’m having this issue currently SB’s. Found a great man who wants to support me, take me shopping, give me the finer things in life but he just isn’t attractive. I suppose it is NSA but it’s hard going off NSA when there’s also no physical attraction. How do you SB’s get through this?

  15. I tried sugar daddy dating sites before and was very unsuccessful. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m mixed or if it’s because I’m not attractive enough or both, I mean I think I’m beautiful and alot of people say that I’m both beautiful and smart. So can someone give me some advice or make some suggestions, as to how I may go about finding a SD? It’s not about the money for me, it’s about the experience. I would like to learn from them and see life from a different perspective.

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