Q&A Wednesday

November 2, 2011November 2, 2011 Elsy1 Comment

I’ve had some really interesting posts this past week, and I’m really excited to be answering them. A couple are even blog worthy which will be super nice! 🙂 Anyway, here it goes:

Hello Lovely! So I am having quite the dilemma. I am 19, and very new to the SD relationships, but very open to it. I want to get involved but I’m a virgin and giving that away is not an option for me. I feel like I’m missing so many opportunities by waiting. I have college and life to pay for 😦 Any advice? Do you think its possible to find someone not looking for sex? Thank you so much! I find all your advice to be extremely knowledgable.
Hi sweetie! I commend you 110% for saving yourself, I think that’s great, and I’m proud of you for making that choice – it’s very hard for people today to live by that rule. So go you! 🙂 Although there are sugar daddies who wont be in it for the sex, the chances of finding them are very slim. My ex sugar daddy and I didn’t ever have sex because he was married, but I think he enjoyed the company of a woman who wasn’t his wife more than anything. Most men will want sex though, no matter where you go. If I were you, I would be very upfront and let any POT. out there that you will not be having sex no matter what. Also, be extremely careful when meeting with some of these men, because some men just take what they want. (And I’ve heard of a couple of instances where that was the case lately.) Good luck dear ❤
Sorry I wasn’t more clear. I meant if a wealthy older man approaches you at the gym, at a restaurant, etc. and ends up asking you out, how do you gauge if he wants a SD/SB situation or a traditional relationship?
Ahhh, sorry I misunderstood! 🙂 I think those situations are difficult to gauge. There are plenty of relationships where men and women are dating and the man just happens to be wealthy… With Obj. and I, I knew what he wanted when we first got into the arrangement. He was very clear. But I think if I was in that situation, I might joke “Oh. I’m your sugar baby.” Some men may say “well.. you are…” or be very offended. I’d also see how the relationship develops. That’ll be a big give away. if you’re not seeing him a lot and he’s buying your luxurious things / giving you money. You’re a SB. But gauging these things from just from someone, somewhere, with money, asking you out, I think is difficult to assess. If anyone has any better advice, comment below! 🙂
Im not attracted to my SD. Hes very caring and takes care of me so I want this to work out but how do I get over not being attracted to him?
What you’re dealing with isn’t uncommon. A lot of SB’s wont ever be attracted to their SD’s, and that’s OK. It’s only an arrangement. Not an actual relationship. He is paying you for your company, you’re with him for the money (assuming here, but lets say.) Focus on things you like about him. Like you said, he’s caring and takes care of you… That’s attractive right? What he does is attractive. What he does for you is attractive. Maybe, physically, he is not, but all that aside, is he a good man? If yes, then focus on all the positive things and mentally push past the physical side of it.
Hi! I’m new to the SB/SD game. I’m on several sites but I frequent SD4ME, SA & Sugardaddie. I’ve had the most positive feedback on SD4ME and the least on SA, which concerns me since SA is the preferred site for most people and I can see how people feel SD4ME is seedy. How do I approach, send msgs to and attract the REAL DEAL SD’s? I don’t think my profile is trashy nor are my pictures, and I’m not an ugly girl. I’m well educated and I don’t think I come off as a skank. What can i fix?

Always get a second opinion on profiles. What may look OK for you may not for someone else. If you’d like me to look at it, you can email me at thedailylifeofasb@gmail.com and I don’t mind reviewing it for you. 🙂 Weeding out the losers from the real guys is still a chore, even if you have a good profile. There are tons of creeps on these sites. Look for men actively, and don’t just wait for them to come too you. You can also add other sugar babies on facebook (you can add me on there, just type in my email) who are anonymous and post pictures of real and fake SD’s which is super helpful.
first of all, thanks for following back! I started following you because I’m thinking about becoming a sugar baby. I made a profile on SA, and already feel a bit overwhelmed. I live in Rhode Island, so it seems everyone from Boston down to northern Connecticut is sending me messages. How do I navigate through all these men? Also, is it necessary that I email every one of them back? Generally, what’s a good place for someone new like me to start?

Skim their profiles. If they don’t have pictures, off they go. If you don’t have anything in their about me’s, off they go, if they seem really seedy in their message… Off they go… You don’t have to email everyone of them back at all. I had hundreds of unread messages in my inbox a few months a go I never got around to reading, usually because their intros sucked. (And intros are important) Maybe you can start off with just replying to five a day. If you don’t feel like you handle more, then don’t bite off more than you can chew. Answer thoughtfully, take time into reading their profiles and getting a feel for who they are. You’re not obligated in anyway to these men, and although you may feel like you must reply all at once, you really don’t :)1 You must be pretty special if you’re already getting so much attention! Good luck !

Q&A Wednesday (The Late Edition!)

October 21, 2011 ElsyLeave a comment

Q&A Wednesday is LATE this edition! I’m so sorry! With just starting my new job, I’ve barely had the time for myself, yet alone here. However, I’m getting back into the swing of things, and I’m finding more time in my schedule! 🙂 However, within day things should be back into gear. I wont be posting as much (2+ times a day) more like 4-5 times a week, but only because I don’t want to run out of things to say, and I can’t post at work like I did when I was at the coffeehouse!

i have stretch marks and it makes me super self conscious. do sds want girls with perfecgt bodies?
It depends who you meet. Each person has a different perspective of what is “perfect” and what is not. Keep in mind that stretch marks can be covered with make up, and usually what you’re self conscience about, doesn’t matter as much to other people.
were u attracted to all your ex-sds?

In some way or another, yes. Either to their personalities, or what they looked like.
Is it harder to find a sugar daddy around the holidays? And since Christmas is so close what should I get him? (We have only been seeing eachother for a week and a half.)

I think that Sugar Daddies are busier around the holiday seasons, but not necessarily harder to find. Usually they’re more interested in family events than being with you, however. For Christmas, maybe you could make him a nice dinner, or dress up in a sexy outfit for him… Maybe get him a bath robe or his favorite cologne.
What are the top 10 things on your bucket list?

1. Go to Switzerland

2. Learn two new languages

3. Buy a house in America

4. Donate 10,000 to charity

5. Go bungee jumping

6. Fall in love

7. Create something amazing and unique to myself

8. Open an art gallery featuring my paintings

9. Write a book and start my own business

10. Be remembered for years after my death for what I accomplished, not what I didn’t.
Elsy, how often do you think that SB’s luck out and find a great man like Objection? Most of the SD’s that I’ve come across seem to be the type who a) have some intense control issues or b) don’t make the effort to get to know you beyond surface level. I would like to find a SD where there’s a genuine friendship as well.

I’m very lucky to have Objection, especially as my first SD, and I know that is a very rare in which that happens. I think the factors would depends on what you are looking for, what type of person you are and how you present yourself. On my profile, I would state how down to earth I am, how I love to help people, and that I didn’t tolerate people who wouldn’t respect me. Sure, I still met some strange men, but the number diminished once they knew that I didn’t need them. They didn’t have that control over me.
I’ve become pretty good at spotting (with help from Google) which sugar daddies are financially comfortable and which ones are pretenders. However, what I’ve learned is that just because some of these men have money, doesn’t mean that they’re extremely generous. I’m not looking for anything crazy, mainly just bills. So what are some signs you look for from the beginning to figure out if a man is generous or if he wants as much as possible with as little effort as possible?

Sometimes this can be difficult to spot, because there are some very good fakers. However, I always think look for.

– Men who want to pay per visit and only want to see you 1-2 times a month

– Men who are more interested in treating you like an escort / hooker

– Men who do not make arrangement after the second date

– Men who suggest very low allowances, or want to pay 2000 for 7-10 days of visiting

I’d be completely upfront with what you want, however, so there are no mixed signals.
What are some safety precautions that you would recommend before meeting a SD? How much should you know about this person before you actually meet them in person. Do you think a picture is a must before meeting up?

I posted about meeting sugar daddies here (on number 15). However, before I meet sugar daddies I never give out any personal information, and I always require a picture. I’ve met a lot of men last minute, so knowing a lot about them isn’t a MUST for me, because some people have a difficult time articulating themselves.
Do you give your SD your real cellphone number?

Pot’s? No. Real? Yes.
how much is your shampoo going to cost? plz sell it 🙂

Awh, you’re so cute! 😀 It’s going to be anywhere from 5 per bottle to 10-15 for Shampoo/Cond/Body Lotion. I’ll probably start doing them in sets. SBD (Sugar Baby Delights) should be up and running by late Dec – Early Jan. I’m considering doing a New Years Launch and doing huge giveaways and competitions! 🙂
Could you please give some advice for meeting people on craigslist? What type of questions should you ask the person prior to get a feel for their character? Please respond! By the way, I’m totally obsessed with your blog, thank you so much!!
Thank you so much! 🙂 It’s always nice to hear people enjoy reading it! ❤ First of all, I’ve never met anyone on craigslist. I’ve heard of a couple of people being able to find someone on there, but most of the time, I find a lot of horny men go there. With SA and other SD dating sites, I know that they’re having to pay a fee to be members. With craigslist, anybody can post. However, If I was contacting a man from CL, I would use a lot of terminology (“How is the S. Bowl going?” “What kind of arrangement are you looking for ? p/mo or p/me”) To get a feel for who they are, I’d ask simple questions about what they like to do, what they’re interested in, what their job is. The internet is still a difficult place to get to know someone though, so maybe you could skype instead? 🙂
Are you going to stop posting on SBD??? You’ve not been posting as muhc????
I know, I know, and I’m sorry. I started work earlier than I expected, and between these crazy hours, insane amounts of work, school, and getting a feel for my new job, I’ve been overwhelmed. I wake up, go to work, come home and do school work, and go to bed. I’m actually a little behind with school right now because of the new job. However, like I stated earlier, this weekend I should be back into the swing of things, and I’m learning how to organize my time.

Q&A Wednesday

October 12, 2011October 13, 2011 Elsy2 Comments

Good morning gorgeous ladies! It’s such a cold and dark morning today, but it’s still beautiful! It reminds me of Christmas already. (Cold smell, warm drinks, Christmas trees!)

I have my coffee in one hand and a Croissant on the table, I have my lamp on and my curtains drawn a little so I can see outside. My dog and cat are still sleeping, it’s pretty quiet outside, and I’m getting the feeling it’s going to be a lovely day.

I decided to post my Q&A, but keep in mind, if you still as a question today, I will add it on here today. So check back if you ask a question a few hours after I post this! Okay?

Is Objection Married? No, Objection is not married. My ex SD JK was though.
What types of gifts do you get your SD for birthdays and holidays?
I like to get my SD(s) thoughtful gifts. For example, Objection really loves coffee (we met in a coffeehouse! ) For his birthday, I bought him a lb of coffee, a few really nice big mugs, and one specially made with the word “OBJECTION!” on it I custom made, since it’s out little inside joke. I also bought him a Rolex watch, and a new briefcase, since he was saying a few weeks before his was starting to get a bit of wear and tear. For Christmas this year, I am going to be dressed up as a Little Elf (I’m sure you can guess what kind of Surprise THAT will be) I’ll be buying a bottle of his favorite wine, a couple of new shirts, and cooking a special dinner for him! 😉
What do you normally wear on a first date?
I posted about first date outfits here :)!
I love reading your blog on tumblr/workpress. Please post more about your adventures! When you are not busy of course 🙂
Thank you dear! ❤
How did your best friend die?
My best friend killed herself.
How do you bring up allowance, do you make any hints before the first date online?
There is a post about allowances here and here
What are some of your favorite gifts you have received from SDs?
My dog Snapple and a vintage Bible that I love
Can you share your daily make up routine?
Yes, of course! Before applying make up, I cleanse my face, and exfoliate it. I don’t generally use foundation or concealer, but if I need to I use it! I use a really good brow pencil. After applying the pencil, I will usually get Vaseline on a Qtip and smooth it down. My favorite eye shadow of all time is Urban Debays naked palette, because I love going for a nude look like this, than looking like I’m going to a nightclub. I usually use mascara v eyeliner “Too Faced: Lash Injection” is AMAZING in my opinion! If I do use eyeliner, however, it’s usually only on my eyelid, and it’s always liquid. The bottom is always just a regular pencil and it’s always very thin and barely recognizable After all that, I usually top it off with a little lip gloss I make myself, and something very light pink blush. :)!
What is the minimum allowance you require from SDs?
1500, but I push for 2,000
Do you post pictures on your SA account? If so do they show your face? Or do you blur them out? Do you use the private picture section or no? (are you worried about posting pictures of your face on SA?)
Yes I posted pictures on my SA. I didn’t blur out my face or anything, but I do position myself in an angle where you can’t see my face in a 100% profile view. I used my private picture area, but not for anything risque.
Do you list an expectation in your SA profile or do you just leave it blank to “open to negotiations” or do you put an amount on the profile?
I put “OtN” but I did always say I expected more than 1,500 per month and if they could do under, then they better be bargaining a good deal.
On your profile do you list anything about dollar amounts or do you just go to dinner and then discuss it there?
I just put over 1,500. After dinner, I will go home and email them about it if they don’t bring it up first! 🙂
Do you have any siblings and what are their full names?
Yes, I have a sister and a brother, they’re both older than me. I’m not comfortable giving out their full names
You only ask for 2000? I always read NYC SBs ask for more since it is so expensive living there. Has Objection’s allowance to you gone up since you’ve officially become a couple?
Yes I would, but only because I was getting a big allowance from Objection, plus two other 2,000 allowances.
How old is Objection?
Late 30’s-Early 40’s 🙂
Do you have a credit card? Just wondering?
Yes I do.
Can you post a pic of your hair on sugar FB?
There are two pictures of me FB, the most recent one, and one from last Halloween when I had lighter colored hair.

Q&A Wednesday

October 5, 2011October 10, 2011 Elsy4 Comments

q&A

Do you think a SB has to be European to get the FULL SB experience in NYC?
Not at all, but, I do think it sparks interest and curiosity if you are a foreigner. My friend is from France also, but had a really hard time finding a Sugar Daddy. It was more about her personality when it came down too it, as she was very rude. I know plenty of American girls who are living a lot better than I am in NYC, though.
would you like to meet other NYC Sugar babies swap tips??
I’m unsure of what you’re asking 100%, but I think that’s maybe just my bad English. If you’re suggesting meeting up and hanging out, I will have to decline for the sole purpose of staying anonymous. If this wasn’t an anon blog, I would love too. I would love to meet other NYC SB’s via facebook, twitter, or even skype, though!
Why do you call your SD Objection?
I call my main sugar daddy Objection because he’s a lawyer, and when he doesn’t like something or doesn’t agree with something, and is with me, he will say ‘Objection.’ It’s a cute thing he does. 🙂
Where do you work?
Due to anon reasons, I can’t reveal my workplace. All you need to know is I work at a higher end coffee shop in NYC.
Do you speak French fluently and have you thought about making your blog in English and French? Do you have an accent?
Yes, I am French. My father was American, but my mother was French. I was born and raised in France and moved to America a few years a go, so I speak French and English fluently. I’m also fluent in German, but I do make mistakes in English and German from time to time. Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand “chat speak”. I still have my French accent, and I still use French a lot when speaking with my friends, as they want to learn, and some of them know French also. I have considered writing this blog in French, also, but I feel that it would be too time – consuming, and I am really targeting an American audience. I have considered writing a book, though, and maybe publishing it in English and French.
Have you considered writing a book?
Funny that someone should ask this, because I have considered it a lot lately. I think a lot of women need help in getting a sugar daddy and knowing what to do. There is limited information out there, which is why I created this blog; as well as to recount my own experiences. I don’t know whether people would buy my book though…. Would you? Take my poll!
What is your favorite store to shop at? I always expect Sugar Babies to shop at really expensive clothing stores.
I get a lot of clothes and apartment stuff from Anthropologie. I love going through their website and picking out outfits I want. For example, a few months a go I stumbled across a site that had an Anthropologie lookbook, and bought this whole outfit. Anthropologie is very vintage in my opinion, which mingles with my style. I like high fashion vintage. Urban Outfitters is nice, and Chanel also has some great clothes. I’m very much in love with Bloomingdales. Right now they have a great “Ready to Wear” selection here. My favorite is the “Printed Silk Dress” which I’m debating in buying. I do like expensive things, but I’m also always checking out more affordable stores in case I find a good deal.
What is your name?
My family nicknamed me Elsy when I was young, so that’s the name I go by here.
Can we be FB && Twitter friendssssss :))!
Sure, you can be my facebook friend here, and like my page here. You can follow me on Twitter here.
Why do u have a wordpress and tumblr?
I have both because some people dislike using tumblr, or they are not common with tumblr, and the same goes for wordpress. I’m targeting a large audience, so I’m using both for usability.
I read your blog religiously, and I really love it. You seem really nice. ❤
Thank you very much. Contrary to popular belief, not all sugar babies are cruel and rude. I try and be kind and understanding with everybody. It’s really nice when I hear positive feedback from other SB’s about what I’m trying to do here. 🙂
Do you think you’re a prostitute?
Short answer is “no”. I’ll be posting about this topic in the next few days. If you’ve ever seen the Dr. Phil episode on it, it’s a hot debate with many people.
I have a question, can I contact you? / I have a question, and it’s personal. Will you not post it on the blog? / Will you keep me anonymous?
Yes, you can. You can “ask” me your email, and I will get a hold of you, you can give me your skype, and I can skype you, you can email me at thedailylifeofasb[at]gmail[dot]com yourself, you can facebook inbox me or even tweet me.
I do blog about questions other sugar babes have asked, and unless otherwise asked, I will always keep their identity 100% confidential. If you want to talk about something personal that you don’t want me to post about, I’m 100% OK with that also. The conversation will never leave us.
Why do you keep anon?
To protect myself and my sugar daddy’s. It’s not fair for them if I wanted to be known, and then out my sugar daddies personal lives in the process. As much as I would love to befriend most of you, I’m sure you understand the importance of being anon in that situation.
I’ve never been a sugar baby before but I’m finally going to do this. I met someone online who seems to be pretty nice. He isn’t that old at all and may just even be into the same things as me. But you still can never trust that. We’ve been exchanging texts for a few days now. What are some tips, ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT tips I should know before meeting with this person?
When meeting potential SD’s I always make sure I use my “LAND” process. The most important three things for me are:Location: Pick a public area. Meet him there if possible. You want to pick a public area where you can avoid any bad situations. Not being careful could land a chance of getting raped, or even worse. (If you have been sexual assaulted, please call a helpline to try and start to heal.)
Address: Never reveal your address to anybody. If they ask where you live, you could say “I live in the Manhattan area” or “I live in the Chelsea area.” If they ask for a exact location, that for me, is a red flag.
Name: Girls, don’t give your full names. You could be inviting a stalker. For example, if a SD asks me what’s your name, I don’t say “Elsy X”, I say “Elsy”. If they asked for my full name, another red flag would go up. You do however, want to search and google their names. Basically you don’t want to give too many details, but you want a lot of details on him.
Desire: Don’t have sex on the first date, don’t ask about the arrangement unless he brings it up (and if you must, wait until you get home and email him.) Don’t be greedy, or throw yourself at him. Respect yourself, and him.
Although you don’t reveal your location, do you ever fear that you will be discovered? You often tell us about places you’ve been, and you’ve told us you work in a higher end coffeeshop. Someone could try and find you.
Although there is that small risk of being discovered, I have a lot of faith that my readers respect my privacy. Not just that, but I often reveal where I have been after I have gone. Although I do mention my coffee shop being higher end, I’ve never specified in what manner. For all you know, I could mean extremely expensive but very unknown, or very known and very expensive. Fact is, in NYC, there are thousands of people roaming the street everyday, and a lot of coffee shops that could be considered “high end.”
Can I sell you a product or get in touch with you for business?
Anything related to advertising, or anything business related should be sent to my email address. Thedailylifeofasb[at]gmail[dot]com I will not advertise something I don’t support, and I won’t work with something I don’t believe in.
I’m in love with my sugar daddy! I don’t know what to do. PLEASE help me. I’m so upset.
I will be posting about this later in my blog. Please “ask” me your email for immediate help, though.
What shampoo do you use?
I make my own shampoos, conditioners, cleaning supplies, and lotions. It was a family trade secret passed down for generations. I have never bought my own. I always make them.
What type of girls are you attracted towards?
I don’t have a preference when it comes to ladies. I like big boobs, and long hair. 😉
What are essential things a SB should have? Besides the LBD, CL, Chanel…
It’s different for every SB honestly. While something may be important to me, it may not be important to you. Some SB’s are just happy to have the money to cover their bills and don’t care about Gucci and Prada.
Do your friends know that you’re a sugarbaby? If so, how many?
All my friends and family knows, except a couple. I’m really lucky to have a great family support system, who, may not love my choices, but they love me.
What should I look for in a SD profile?
I’m speaking of Seeking Arrangement directly, but, if you’re browsing profiles you want to look for
1. Diamond Club Members / Certified Members: They pay a significant amount of money to be one.
2. Decent pictures are a huge plus. If I’m seeing a guy wearing Old Navy, I’m a bit skeptical. Also look fora good handful of pictures. Just one would also make me a bit skeptical.
3. A really detailed “Arrangement I am seeking” For example:
  “I am looking for a fun girl for a long or short term arrangement with a monthly/weekly allowance for her. The amount depends on the person and her availability. I had my last sugarbaby for almost 6 years. She would have been still here with me but her mom suffered a stroke and could not feed herself or bathe so she moved back to upstate NY to care for her mom. Tell me what your looking for or need and leave me a message. IF YOU CAN OR ARE INTERESTED IN MOVING/RELOCATING TO HOUSTON TO LIVE FOR AN ALLOWANCE AND POSSIBLE APT LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU CONTACT ME” He is upfront and honest about what he wants
4. Look at the “About me” also. This is also important (but, in my opinion, not as important as the “arrangement I am seeking.”) I think the About Me is LESS important because some people have a really difficult time telling people about themselves. They should however, know what kind of arrangement they are looking for. A good about me would be the following:
  “When a lady chooses to enter my life, she has a mentor, friend, and supporter for life, whether we remain lovers or not. While I enjoy dating and am polyamorous and a philogynist (look up, its fun), I both admire and respect any lady I date.
  As said, I’m open to a relationship or even marriage, however I will never settle for less than the right not-so-perfect partner! (emphasis on partner) So, until then I enjoy meeting, befriending, having unbridled fun, and/or dating attractive WHITE, and FIT ladies under 36 (or look it), who lack drama, enjoy fine dining, wine, concerts, art, music, travel, fun, and adventure.
  I’m not arrogant, possessive, jealous, or emotionally needy like many other affluent men, so I have been told. I am VERY secure and comfortable in my own skin and who I am and I am extremely open-minded! Close-minded women need not apply.”
  He has A LOT more, but, he is very open and honest, and I appreciate that about him and the message he is conveying. I don’t get a feel of a “con” here.
5. Always look out for bad English and bad grammar (unless they’re foreign) and the term “play.” Again, an example would be this man, who had the title “Waht to play”:
  “Older man (57) seeking a younger daytime playmateArrangement I am Seeking
  
  I’m Seeking:
  
  Sugar Baby (Female)
  
  My Budget:
  
  Less than US$1,000 monthly
  
  Description:
  
  I can help you if you can help me”
6. People who say, multiple times, “I AM REAL!” make me believe they are not real. Maybe some of you have had a different experience with that, though. \
7. Good headers: “Looking for a smart lady.” “Looking for a good friend and maybe more” “Looking for the right lady.” “Looking for a woman” Bad headers: “WHAT’S UP LADIES” “New at this…” “Looking 4 HOTT women”What else can you ladies / gents think of that you find off-putting in profiles? Leave your comment below!

A Big Fat Thanks!

October 5, 2011October 10, 2011 ElsyLeave a comment

246 views on JUST my wordpress in 2-3 days. Impressive! Not sure about my tumblr, but hey, my blog has only been up for 3 days? (give/take) I’m really surprised at how it’s taken off, and I want to thank you all for the positive feedback. So far, I’ve had 95% of people tell me “thank you” or let me know that their blog is helping them. I’ve had people recommend this blog, and say they love it. Thank you so much. It means a lot. When I started this blog, I thought it would be something small I’d have on the side – with maybe a couple of people that would read it. SB blogs are such a small niche and I thought it would be difficult to get noticed! You’re all encouraging me, and I’m glad I could help you or give you advice!

Depending on how this blog continues, I’m hoping to do giveaways, maybe just make my own domain. (No .wordpress or .tumblr) and have guest bloggers come in and blog about their experiences. Of course, it’s very early on, so I don’t want to get ahead of myself too much. 🙂

Anyway, last call for Q&A. When I’ve posted Q&A, I wont be doing it again untilnext Wednesday. Unless it’s long-blog-post-worthy.

❤ Bye my gorgeous girls. ❤